Anger is a somewhat unwanted acquaintance. Alienated until he burst through the door and takes over the entire home within a matter of seconds. Tempting as it's raw and straightforward. A yardstick for justice -the more injustice the more fury- and letting it out can feel so right in the moment.
In the literature, acting on anger is considered disruptive and escalates aggression. It does nothing to help us (or the person we're angry with) resolve the situation.
Having closely examined anger -what are the triggers, how does it start and dissolves, how does it feel in the body, what are the thoughts surrounding the feeling, how does it affect the other person- I have discovered a related reason why acting from anger almost never produces the desired result. Expressing anger by shouting, swearing, slamming doors, etc. acts as a get-out-of-jail-free card for the people who are at the receiving end. Instead of communicating that we are right and leading us to gates of justice, expressing anger has the opposite effect. It communicates that we are wrong. Instead of communicating just how hurt we are and how much we need understanding, we create negative feelings in the other person, enough to undo why the anger happened in the first place.
Relating mindfully to my experience as it unfolds from moment to moment supported a better understanding of the feeling of anger as a valuable compass for understanding situations and acting on anger as a flawed (yet human) reaction without the expected result.
As much of a word and metaphor lover I am, this blog appeals to my imagination and experience. I feel motivated to keep on searching mindfully which path then can lead to that gate that does justice to the sorrow and pain.