Life, as we know it, isn’t always a smooth sail. Sometimes, the waters get choppy. Unexpected waves of difficulty arise – a challenging conversation, a looming deadline, a pang of sadness or frustration. In these moments, our natural instinct might be to resist the turbulence, to fight against the waves, hoping they’ll just disappear. But what if, instead of fighting, we learned to ride them?
This is where mindfulness comes in, offering us a different way of relating to difficulty. It’s not about pretending the waves aren’t there, or trying to suppress them. It’s about learning to be present with them, with curiosity and kindness.
Imagine yourself standing on the shore, watching the waves roll in. Some are gentle ripples, others are powerful surges. You observe them without judgment, simply noticing their shape, their movement, the sound they make as they hit the sand. This is the essence of mindful awareness – observing our inner world, our thoughts and emotions, with the same non-reactive attention.
When a difficult emotion arises – perhaps anger, fear, or sadness – is it possible to pause for a moment and simply notice it? Noticing the physical sensations in the body: perhaps a tightness in the chest, a knot in the stomach, a clenching of the teeth. Not trying to push these sensations away, or get caught up in the story the mind is telling you about them. Just observe them as you would observe the waves on the shore. Coming and going.
This isn’t always easy. Our minds are wired to avoid discomfort. We might find ourselves wanting to distract ourselves, to numb the feeling, to make it go away. But mindfulness invites us to stay with the discomfort, to gently turn towards it with curiosity.
Think of it as befriending the difficult emotion. Instead of seeing it as an enemy, can you see it as a visitor, perhaps bringing a message? Perhaps the anger is signaling a boundary that needs to be set. Perhaps the sadness is acknowledging a loss that needs to be grieved.
By being present with our difficult emotions, we create space for them. We learn that emotions, like waves, rise and fall. They are not permanent states of being. They are temporary experiences that eventually pass.
This doesn’t mean we have to enjoy feeling uncomfortable. We don't need to like it. It just means we can learn to hold these feelings with more spaciousness and compassion. We can learn to ride the waves of difficulty, knowing that we have the inner resources to weather the storm.
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